TURDUCKEN CHEF is an unusual video in the series where Jon attempts to cook the unholy abomination of American gluttony and indecency known as the Turducken, which consists of a stuffed chicken, stuffed inside of a duck, stuffed inside of a turkey. While the episode contains some professional editing and minor skits, most of it just consists of Jon very poorly preparing the birds and recounting several stories while doing so.
This episode can be considered a standalone side series, as Jon went to the trouble of having a CG animated logo made for "Jon's Spooky Kitchen". No further videos have been made in the series as of yet.
The "plot" as it is, simply involves Jon trying to come up with a traditional holiday meal for the Halloween period, bringing up the Thanksgiving turkey and the Christmas ham, both of which are wholesome and warm the tummy in those colder months. Jon elects to cook a turducken for Halloween, and what could be more fitting for the holiday than something so absurd and kind of gross?
The turducken meal comes to us Americans courtesy of Paula Deen, a popular southern chef who usually makes fairly wholesome meals that tend to lean towards the full belly type. Nonetheless, she is a talented cook and her recipes have left many a family well fed for months.
The turducken itself has gotten a bit of an underground reputation. PeTA especially isn't fond of it, but then again, who's surprised by that revelation, amiright?
Jon even shows off some of the infamous "Vegan Turducken" video, where an old lady openly curses and insults meat-eaters like it's going out of fashion.
Back on topic, Jon starts off with the first portion of the meal, the chicken. He holds up his packaged poultry and reads the incredibly ironic brand name, "Free Bird" followed by a brief, morbidly humorous skit where the song "Arms of the Angel" plays and the words, "FREE AT LAST" appear at the bottom of the video. Jon slices open the packaging before admitting he has no clue what he's doing. Upon exhuming the raw chicken from its bag, Jon lets out a squeamish moan, and calls the bird "beautiful" in what I'll just call supreme sarcasm.
Jon admits that he knows he's going to be made fun of before pulling the absorbent pad out of the chicken before slapping it on top, and then throwing it away.
Jon then goes about deboning the chicken and starts off by making four incisions on top and then slicing the wings off without knowing whether or not he's supposed to. when it comes to removing the inner bones, Jon is dumbfounded and just starts trying to pry the bones free with his knife, accidentally slicing himself. He briefly gets concerned about salmonella, though in actuality, he's fine. (Doesn't stop him from making an Aids joke in the overlay, though.)
Jon ultimately removed the skeleton, albeit alongside most of the meat. With this, he puts the filet to the side and moves on to the next bird.
Jon starts off with an amazing story about how he acquired this duck. He went to his local meat market and asked them for duck, to which the guy there told Jon that they were all out. Jon rhetorically asks if there's anywhere else he can get duck, only to be told there isn't. Jon doesn't give up and heads to Chinatown. He expresses concern with his Peking Duck. Wondering if it's even save to eat. Regardless, Jon presses forward.
As he makes his incision, he tells a brief tale of the time his grandmother made him duck. He tells about how he cursed and slapped his grandma, before admitting that the whole thing was a lie, save for the part about him disliking his grandmother's duck.
Jon reaches the inside and finds the duck's inner neck, making squealing sounds akin to the chestburster from the Alien films. He then takes his chicken filet and stuffs it inside of the duck, before covering up the hole with the duck's skin. He puts the bird-within-a-bird to the side in preparation for the star of the show.
Jon presents the fresh turkey for all to see, claiming that the bird was watching Rick & Morty last night. He's initially taken aback by the sheer size of the bird, before soon turning his attention to the hock-locks, apparently having never seen one before.
He begins carving the turkey and initially seems to be having an easier time. However, soon, he pulls out another neck before completely destroying the turkey. He then takes the duck, unceremoniously covered in paprika, and crams it into the turkey's central cavity, while sprinkling paprika onto the turkey as well, followed by garlic, followed by actual paprika.
Jon then closes up the mess of a turkey and breaks out the sutures. He ties up the turkey sloppily while wondering out loud why a God would allow something this inhumane to happen. After nearly burning himself with a hot oven mit, Jon lifts the bird into the pan and puts it in the oven.
After waiting three years, Jon asks his guests if they're ready to eat. Ash Williams (Sergio Torres), Superman (Michael Shayne), a caveman (Andrew Raynoso), and a goth girl (unknown, possibly Melanie Licata) all seem to have understandable objections to the meal. Jon remains oblivious to their objections and opens the oven, only for a mutant bird puppet to fly out and kill all of Jon's guests. Jon screams "Paula Deen is the reason all my friends are dead!" and shoots the bird in half. He then looks up at the camera as all of his guests and the turducken lay dead, and proclaims that nothing that happened in the video was worth it.
With that, the episode ends with the Food Network logo, the caption "GOT EM" and the statement, "The latest episode of JonTron has convinced me that comedy might be dead, and I've seen John Oliver." by Forbes on the screen.
- Jon alludes to the previous episode when he lifts the turducken into the pan by saying "That's a lotta damage."
- It is currently unknown if Jon's Spooky Kitchen will return in the future.
- The song that briefly plays before the episode ends is Haunted Boardwalk from Pac-Man World 2.