Jon covers several more bad Star Wars games, before talking about toys and some of Jon's favorite Star Wars games.
|JonTron's StarCade: Episode 8 - Everything Else!|
|Date||December 11th 2015|
|Cast|| Jon, Gordon Tarpley as C3PO's actor, Mick Lauer as C3PO's voice, Sam 'Strippin' Thorne as Jedi on Plane, Nathan Barnatt as Sith on Plane
Jon is eating apples. C3PO appears, and asks him where he got the apples. Jon got them from the apple planet. They were the people of the apple planet! Jon realizes why they were screaming, as blood drips from his mouth!
Jon recaps the games he has seen so far. There isn't enough time for all the Star Wars games in this series. He talks about X-Wing from episode two, and its spiritual successor, Tie Fighter. The player gets to be the bad guy, and Jon is excited. He takes it back. The gameplay is the same, but it is empire themed.
Jon comments on the weird costumes of the characters. The empire can still bomb things that are sitting still! Jon makes fun of Palpatine setting up a meeting during a thunderstorm. He's been looking online for the weather for two weeks, and thinks it gave him malware!
The next game is Star Wars Behind the Magic, which is supposed to show a behind the scenes of the original trilogy. Jon tries out the weapon test. He sees a stormtrooper. He accidentally throws Ewok Rocks at the stormtrooper expecting a concert! A giant boulder crushes the stormtrooper! Jon shoots another storm trooper.
The Death Star ray seems a bit overkill. He watches the stormtrooper struggle, and the scene cuts just before the stormtrooper is killed! Jon just wanted to see him blow up!
Star Wars Demolition is up next. It has a Conker's Bad Fur Day like meny, where the camera swings around in a setting. The camera laughs as it wizzes by Jon. You can choose characters and vehicles. It's Star Wars so it is automatically better! We are all here to watch Boba Fett's baby legs dangle around. There is also a giant Jar Jar Binks chess set.
The one everyone has been waiting for is Star Wars Masters of Teräs Käsi, which Jon struggles to pronounce. This is one of the most universally panned Star Wars games. Jon doesn't get the hate in this one. Luke can fight himself! There is a decent spread of characters, but some are more overpowered than others. It seems to follow like Tekken, and is a part of the reason where the game was so negatively received. Jon is taken back when one of the characters is announced as "Hoar".
Jon takes a look at the Milennium Falcon playset. Only a crazy person would want it. Jon describes how to use it, as C3PO plays with it. It is like a difficult way of using a keyboard, and the game that comes with it is like Dragon's Lair.
Jon tests out the toys. Jon thinks that the George Lucas family characters would all fight. He finds the concept of the toys odd. Jon accidentally breaks one of them. He makes the two George figues kiss. Jon tries the Star Wars Force trainer - it doesn't work. It makes you look like a total jackoff.
Jon finds a Death Star, which is Darth Vader in hiding. Jon can't work out how to transform it, and it looks like it is trying to be like Lady Gaga. Jon struggles with some other transformer-like toys, before realizing that he has to snap them together!
Jon thinks he's done. He wants to briefly discuss the better games, and lists some of his favorites.
C3PO gives Jon Star Wars Droids - and Jon has never heard of it. This game is weird and old. Jon explains how to play the game with its clunky controls. There are Simon Says panels. Jon hates games where one of the main puzzles is Simon Says. Jon shows a keychain Simon Says, and screws it up! Jon decides that it should have been an Alf game. Jon comments on C3PO ducking. After grinding, Jon doesn't understand how this game works.
A Jedi and a sith fight on a plane. The game is so bad. Jon realizes that the box art looks familiar, but doesn't know what it is from. C3PO mentions that it is from the worst piece of Star Wars content. Jon won't believe it until he sees it.