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Japanese Shoot 'Em Ups is the 11th episode of Season 2 of JonTron. It focuses on Jon exploring the unique and creative world of the Japanese Shooter genre of video games. Jon decides to take a dive into the world of obscure Japanese Shoot'em-Ups. Little does he know he's in for one hectic misadventure.

Japanese Shoot 'Em Ups
JapaneseShooters
Date August 16th 2014
Series JonTron


Link(s) YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rIxWqcBk4M

Normal Boots: http://normalboots.com/video/japanese-shoot-em-ups-jontron

Cast Jon, Jacques, Cinnamon


Games Appearing

This includes only the games mentioned or gone into detail on.

  • Galaxia
  • Galaga
  • Raiden
  • Twinby
  • R-Type
  • Gradius
  • Space Harrier
  • Parodius
  • Fantasy Zone
  • Panorama Cotton
  • Harmful Park
  • Keio Flying Squadron
  • Samurai Zombie Nation
  • Cho Aniki

Synopsis

Jon begins the episode by making a remark regarding the notorious stereotype of Japan making extremely strange and absurd things and blames the behavior on the fact that Japan is an island, comparing it to actor Tom Hanks in the film, Castaway.

He begins talking about the genre of video game known as the "Shoot'em-Up" as well as how Japan is the pioneer of the genre. He brings up various popular shooters such as Gradius and Space Harrier, but then goes back to say that he wouldn't be looking at them, and instead would focus on the wackier entries the genre has seen over the years.

Jon begins his review session with Fantasy Zone, a "cute'em-up" game for the Sega Master System. He starts off referencing the games unique gimmicks: being able to move in both directions and the games arcade-style upgrade system. Noting Sega's efforts are comparable to the modern trend of pay-to-play mobile games, he suggests they do some of that currently, bringing up the Sonic Boom redesigns for the Sonic franchise, before criticising them on the designs. Jon questioned the game's adorable aesthetic design and wondered if it meant that he was truly the bad guy. He then mentions that the ship you play as, Opa-Opa, would end up being one of Sega's earliest mascot characters, predating Alex Kidd, Sonic the Hedgehog and Billy the Sex Offender (a character Jon created for comedic sake) whom Jon reveals he's had an unhealthy past with.

After that, Jon takes a look at a Space Harrier-like game known as Panorama Cotton. He has difficulty guessing what the game might be about, given the title, and assumes it's about cotton and panoramic images. Once in the game, he takes three notes on what the game presents to him, the first is a panning glyphic image that would supposedly give a story, causing Jon to react in confusion. The confusion had taken a back seat upon the second image, which was a scantily clad girl giving exposition to Jon. He's caught off by her sex appeal. After that he's shown a clip of a character angrily thrashing about and comes to the conclusion that, although he doesn't know what, "some shit is going on here." Ge gets to the gameplay and believes himself to be in familiar territory, only to be immediately proven wrong by the games erratic nature. He comments that the game is fun and satisfying to play, despite the bizarre nature of it. He then shows the playable character colliding with a hazard and losing a life. the character humorously cried out a cat-like noise which Jon subtitles as "QUEEEEEEEEF" and subsequently calls inappropriate.

Following that game, Jon takes a look at a game called Harmful Park: High-Brow Gag and Pure Shooting. He notes the title is even more strange than the previous game and wonders if he can even show it on camera. When he enters gameplay, he soon realises the meaning behind the game's title: the player is in a dangerous amusement park. He then says it reminds him of a favourite game of his, and proceeds to pull out a copy of The Legend of Zelda retitled in a similar, overly-blatant manner, to "True Sword and Lots Magic: Adventure Boy". He notes the game has appeal and that it's fun to use the various weapons in the game. He questions the "Ice" power-up (a laser-firing ice cream cone) as well as the "Jerry" power-up which Jon believes is a mistranslation of Jelly, since the bullets resemble jelly beans. At some point, he encounters a boss that resembles the Frankenstein's Monster. The monster defeats the player character with intersecting lasers emitted from its middle fingers. Jon takes this into offense and retaliates by pulling out Jacques and Cinnamon, who both fire lases from their eyes.

Jon then tries out Keio Flying Squadron, immediately referencing the normality of the name. Upon booting it up, he's met with a very tedious, exposition-filled intro cutscene. He states that the game is very fun, much like the previous few, and that he enjoys the Japanese mythology theme the game has. He then notes that it's slightly offset by something and proceeds to show the final segment of the intro cutscene, where the main character changed into a skimpy, rabbit-themed onesy. Jon says that he's scared and moving on.

Following that, he notes that he had two specific games in mind while making the episode. The first one, Samurai Zombie Nation, is what he talks about now. He opens up the game, and gets immediately confused by the intro cutscene, where a disembodied head looks like it's about to sneeze while being picked up by the wind. He reads the game's story, which is obviously localised extensively, and applies criticisms as he sees fit. Once the game begins, jon confusedly shoots at things until he get's crushed by the screen scroll. Jon stares in awe and confusion at what happened in front of him. As it turns out, the hero is a severed head of a samurai who "saves" the United States by blowing apart its buildings and civilians. Jon pokes fun at the various strange and unnerving things about the game before moving on to the next game.

Lastly, Jon checks out the game, Cho Aniki. He goes in thinking it can't get worse than the previous game, only to find that the intro sequence itself is humorously disturbing, to the point of being ironic. Jon plays and struggles to get past the demo at the beginning of the game, finding that the intro beforehand must be fully endured, making the ability to skip the opening pointless. He enters the game and is bombarded by strangeness that culminates to an encounter with a boss. The boss is a balding man with a bio-mechanical attachment on his waist with a large, phallic gun on top of it, and an anus-like hatch on the bottom with a bald person in it. Jon has a mental break at this point and attempts to keep going with the game. He encounters another boss that is a hybrid of a snail and a frog. The creature extends its mouth, which begins filling with red bars. Jon thinks it's a glitch until one of the bars homes in and kills him, giving him a game over. He ends the game and requests to be put back in "the Kubrik" which is followed by him hysterically laughing in a colourful void.

Trivia

  • A "queef" is a slang term for an inappropriate noise. It was a popular joke term in the early 2000s to the early 2010s, falling out of popularity well before this episode aired.
  • At one point, Jon falls to the ground, fanning himself while uttering, "Oh Lord, I think I'm comin' down with a case of the vapors." "Vapors" is a term that dates back to the 15th century, it's used to describe a heated or sweaty feeling in response to seeing something sexual or erotic.
  • Jon failed to notice the ice cream cone during the Harmful Park segment, simply brushing it off as poor naming.
  • The song that plays in the background of the scene where Jon says, "What the fuck?" in slow motion is Beethoven's Ode To Joy.
  • This marks Cinnamon's first appearance in an episode of Jontron.
  • This is one of the few episodes where Jacques has no lines at all.
    • Likewise, this is the only time Jacques appears, but doesn't speak.
  • Jon says, "I have fallen...and I choose not to get up!" which is a reference to Life Alert, who's slogan is, "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

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