Jon watches Dark Dungeons - a movie about the evils of Dungeons and Dragons.
|Date||August 28th 2016|
|Episode Number|| 8
|Cast|| Jon, Cult Leader: Gys De Villiers, Young Cult Apprentice: Jay Willian Thomas, Homeless Richard: Joseph Hernandez, Party Girl #1: Brooke Comegys, Party Girl #2: Emily Mathwich, Extreme Party Boy #100: Aramis Klien Pikachu LARPer: Sergio Torres
A young cult apprentice returns with good news for his cult leader. The cycle of fear-mongering is almost complete. They need to capture on more person - JonTron. They laugh.
Jon is watching himself in a movie. He doesn't remember being in it, but he did a really good job playing a knight. Jon feels like talking about fear-mongering. He discusses how fear-mongering has evolved. He is startled by Rich, a homeless man. Jon asks him to leave his house.
Jon talks about Chick Tracts. Jon jokes about how terrible Jack's writing is. Jon talks about a comic strip about the 'dangers' of Dungeons and Dragons. Dark Dungeons became a cult classic. Some film makers got the rights to make a film about Dark Dungeons - and Jack approved!
Jon discusses the opening where a cult is discussing some odd topics. Jon left an episode of Bill Nye the Science Guy on 3 people's TVs! Gays are popping up all over the place! Jon sings throughout the opening of the game. Jon discusses the plot and introduces the characters. The 'RPGers' are the popular kids at this school!
The girls walk into a party. Jon is terrified by the threat of rape as a guy talks to them, and Jon blows a whistle. Jon prepares his bottle of water and his RPG gun, which he shoots. Jon is addicted to Pringles. Jon questions a woman who is clearly not the right demographic for Dungeons and Dragons. Jon criticizes the characters that the girls are given. Jon sings about the scene.
The witch woman demands the girls kill someone, and if they don't they sacrifice gold and weapons. Jon, in a set of armor strikes gold away with a sword. Jon continues through the plot. Debbie's grades are falling, and Jon instructs her to read the bible which has no poison or killing in it. Debbie's real powers look awesome as she casts a spell, and Jon wants some of that! She also dresses like Mortisha Adams for some reason.
Jon shows off his high score in Flappy Bird - he got a 3. Jon shows off his live action roleplaying, as he fights against a Pikachu. Jon slays the Pikachu. The girls are no longer allowed to break character. Jon doesn't want to even comment on the attack against muslims. Jon sings Bippity boppity boo. Jon gets startled by the cult. Cthulu shows up. Why does a demon use a walkie talkie and have an earpiece?
The woman can't decide whether or not to draw her dagger or not, as Jon can't decide whether they should attack or not. Marcie is killed in the game. It will be awkward when Debbie arrives at the dorm. Marcie hangs herself! The scene is ripped straight from the comic strip. That is how you make an adaptation! Jon insults the Dragonball movie.
The ghost of Marcie appears and insults Debbie. She sounds like a demon. Jon gets confused between a pastry and a pastor. Jon makes a speech about The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. The cult is in trouble as Debbie preys. The film ends with a book burning! The ending is ripped right from the source material. The movie didn't take itself seriously, even though the original writer did. That makes this movie lefitimate.
Jon dances at a party in front of bored party guests. He drops his sword.