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Aquaman: Battle For Atlantis/Transcript

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[Text in brackets = text not spoken but shown on screen]

Jon: You know, I like games! And- And you know the best place to where to find your games. Youtube comments! Now let me just log in right here and I'll get on my way. So let's just uh, go right here over to the channel page, and, uh, let's check out some comments!

[OMG LMAO PLS MAKE A VIDEO WHERE YOU SAY BHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAEAEAEAEAEAEA]

[this is way there is a really easy guy at the end o fallout 3 - ok....... U JUST WENT THROW A WAR WITH ALLLLLL UR STIMPAKS AND KILLING A BUNCH OF GUYS AND U KEEP DIEING AND DIEING AND DIEING WHEN U FIMILLY MAKE IT TO THE END AND REACH THAT GUY DO U REALLY WANT A GIANT ROBOT OR SOMETHING!!!]

Jon: Oh. OH. OOH! OOHHGGH! OHHHGGGHHH! OOAAUGGHHCH! EEAUUGHHCHHHGGG!!!! I'm? Am.. Am I alive? Am I in Hell yet? All the things I could've been. All the things I didn't get to say, Jacques! I love you, man! I- I wish I could've been a better woman to you. (Jon shown having a stroke)

Jacques: Jon! Jon, bro! Wake up! You must've read at least three to four of those comments in a row.

(Jon wakes up)

Jon: OH! OK. I think I gotta pretty good idea of what i'mma play today...

(Shows footage of the classic Aquaman cartoon)

Jon: Aquaman! Everyone's... Favorite... Superhero? What's he do again? Talk to fish? Yeah, cool.

Aquaman: Now. Hold tight! I'll get help!

Narrator: Now, Aquaman's brain telepathic emminations van out through the deep. Summoning a giant sea turtle!

[WHAT?!]

Jon: Seeing as Aquaman possessed a BLISTERING popularity in the eyes of the mainstream gamer, developer... Uh... Lucky Chicken? Decided to take it upon themselves to bring the masses of games starring the "Fishy Fundamentalist" himself. Lucky Chicken can be credited with such masterpieces as Battletanks... On the Game Boy Color. Their labor of love would eventually come to be known as "Aquaman: Battle For Atlantis"! And by "Labor of Love", of course, I mean they spent 45 minutes in a basement one night with a 1987 "Macintosh". Aquaman hit store shelves for a full $20, and received such crowning scores as [2.3] [3.0] [27] RUN! RUN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, RUNNNN!!!!! So, here we begin! This game was published by TDK which is short for "They don't kare about their reputation. Little known fact. The fact that this is actually backed by DC Comics is just proof that they wanted to drown out Aquaman more than they currently have. Heh.. Hoh, I did a pun! I did a PUN! So let's start that new game. Which character do I want? Aquaman, or question mark, question mark, question mark? Hey, whoa. What is this shit? I.. I can't pick that character! God, you could at least bug test your game before releasing it, GUYS. Guess I'll have to go with Aquaman...

[It is time.]

Jon: Alright. So, ooh. Oh, Ok. So this is how it's gonna be, huh? Mmm, yep. Already getting some good vibes here.

[At last, dear brother. The true king of Atlantis will be revealed.]

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